Thursday, February 14, 2008

Income vs. Goals in a Relationships ---- Food For Thought

Warning: This is a financial post, the appetizer (aka background) is just fluffy and coincidentally falls on Valentine’s Day.

So my mom is the type of mom who no guy is ever really good enough for her baby and for some reason is always on the look-out for someone “better” so they’ll take care of her baby in the lifestyle that my mom feels is normal (affluent). Apparently she doesn’t think her baby girl can take care of herself --- but that’s for a different post. Beyond always being on the look-out for someone else, my mom’s never really liked any guy I’ve ever dated, and a few of them were actually guys my mom set me up with – go figure! This is an ongoing issue so I do not take it to mean anything against the guy I’m currently dating and have been dating for the last year.

(Financial stuff coming soon…I promise)

So the current guy I’m dating, we’ll call him “Mr. Be-Mine” in nod to the holiday, is probably the most compatible guy I’ve ever dated, but still different enough to make life interesting. My friends even agree. One of the many ways we’re compatible is financially. We have very similar outlooks towards saving and spending. Long term I think this is probably one of the best things for a couple - love aside because that’s pretty important and can overcome most everything but finances are also very important, especially with all the studies conducted about money arguments being one of the top reasons for divorce. One article even claims that 57% of couples divorcing site money issues as the main cause.

Well even this doesn’t keep my mom from her usual “tricks” of constantly trying to find someone better for me. One of my mom’s co-workers has a son and my mom wants me to meet him. Of course I’m not going to but she still carries on and on about whoever it is she wants to fix me up with, so she’s feed me full of info about this new guy, we’ll call him “New Kid” on the Block. According to my mom “New Kid” is an investment banker and he’s in my mom’s words “bringing home the big bucks”, drives a new BMW, and recently bought his mom and dad a new plasma TV. She also has listed several other characteristics that are in line with mine including a big involvement in community service, but I won’t get into that since this is supposed to resemble a financial blog post and not some self-help girly blog post. My mom sees “New Kid” as security, but I can’t help but wonder what his net worth is like, is this guy saving or is he so deep in debt he’ll never escape. But since I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter since I’d never go out with “New Kid” I can only conjecture so let’s assume he’s at least breaking even with no consumer debt but isn’t aggressively savings for long term goals.

So here’s the financial question that I’m wanted to bring to you all to ponder:

Would it be better to be in a long term committed relationship (like marriage) with someone who is on the same page with you regarding your views on money and your financial goals but who’s income will never peak much beyond what it currently is or someone who doesn’t necessarily share the same goals and views on money but apparently has a large income and who’s income potential is enormous?

All things including finances aside, I already know what I’m doing between “Mr. Be-Mine”, my mom and “New Kid”. But the question is definitely good food for thought.

What’s your thought on my financial question?

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